How to live an authentic life

Hey guys! Hope you doing well. In the last week or two, the topic of authenticity has been coming up in my life and lately I’ve been challenging myself to live a life as authentic as possible because let’s face it, we live in a world full of false pretences, masks, empty promises and the list goes on and on. I think as much as we all put on a show sometimes whether it be in our interactions with others or on social media I feel we are all chasing “the real” on a daily basis.

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I found in my life personally that “the real” has always eluded me. I’m talking about real friends, real interactions where people say what they feel. Upon deeper introspection, I came to the conclusion that becoming authentic is a lifetime process. Notice I said a LIFETIME and a PROCESS. I believe we can make choices daily to be as real as possible in our interactions with people, in our relationships, in our workplace and wherever we go. It’s like being in a cocoon and over time as we grow, heal, and love ourselves more and more, we become the person we are called to be.

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There can be moments when we truly express our authentic selves and then there are moments that trigger our inner wounds. We then find ourselves acting in a way that’s out of alignment with our true selves. It’s become the norm to follow a trend, show a version of ourselves on social media where we act like we’ve got it all together and I think that’s especially true for bloggers. My vision for my blog is to showcase my personal style but to also address THE REAL ISSUES and be REAL with you guys as there is so much going on in our world sometimes we don’t know what’s real and what’s fake. Amongst all the glamour of fashion I feel there needs to an element of realness and that is the real you shining through the fashion regardless of what the current trend is.So as I said before, it’s a lifelong process, but this doesn’t mean that it’s something we shouldn’t aspire to. Below are some points to think about if you aspire to live an authentic life.

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Stand for what you believe in

Authentic people are in touch with their moral compass. Authentic people stand for what they believe in and aren’t afraid to tell people regardless of whether its popular or not.

Express your true thoughts, feelings and views unapologetically

Authentic people don’t say things that they don’t truly mean. They don’t do things that they don’t really want to do. They are able to share their own unique thoughts, feelings and views without fear of what other people will think of them. This is something I struggled with when I was younger especially when I was surrounded by people who were doing things I wouldn’t necessarily do. Sometimes it’s easy to just go with the flow out of fear of being rejected, but in taking that step in speaking up and voicing your opinion you will experience a new found freedom and you might find that some people share your views but are too shy to speak up about it. In doing this you are an encouragement to other people in how to live life authentically because they see how authentic you live your life.

Put some time into personal growth

This can be through hobbies, classes or reading up on a particular topic. Taking up a hobby that inspires you to improve your skills is a great way to define what makes you happiest. It allows us to become more aware of how life experiences create more meaning and richness in our lives.

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Accept your flaws

Being comfortable with yourself requires you to accept that you are not perfect. If you know your flaws and make efforts to avoid hurting others or yourself with them, then you are much more in touch with reality. We all make mistakes and the thing we need to remember when we wake up in the morning is that the new day is an opportunity to be a better person than we were yesterday.

Don’t put on a different face or personality

We all do this daily, myself included. Playing up to what other people like when you are out with friends can help you fit in, but you are unlikely to be comfortable with people if they don’t know what you really think. Believe me people can see when you’re being real and sincere. Being real is attractive and real people attract real people. When you live authentically people are automatically drawn to that.

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Outfit Details

 

Jacket: Primark

Hoodie: H&M

Jeans: Woolworths

Shoes: H&M

 

Thank you for reading my blog! If you would like to stay up to date with my latest blogs or what I am doing check out my social media pages:

 

Facebook Page: Joshycapetown

 

Instagram: Joshycapetown

 

All photos by Goose Photography: Book here

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How to improve your casual wear

To each individual, casual dress translates to their style and the style they feel most comfortable in. When you’re away from your 9-5 during the week the clothing you put on your back is more than likely going to be casual. That doesn’t mean we should lose all sense of style, if you’re serious about looking good then a proactive approach is needed to achieve this goal.

As much as we hate to admit it, appearances DO matter and they affect a man’s daily life in real and fundamental ways. How you are perceived by others before you open your mouth depends on the physical signals you send with your appearance.

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In my experience I’ve had many people come up to me asking me for directions or even purposefully asking me for money. Why? because they have taken a look at my appearance and come to the conclusion that this person is well dressed, looks after them self and therefore maybe they will be able to assist me with something I require. Whenever my wife and I leave the house I will usually take some time to decide how I will dress casually instead of just throwing on a t-shirt and jeans every time, so much so that I will usually take longer than her to get dressed and her usual response will be “You not going to a fashion show!” I usually just laugh her off but the point I’m trying to make is that making a little bit of effort in your casual wear can go a long way. I’ve found that making a little bit of extra effort has improved my confidence, helped me take a step to my overall self-improvement and make a good first impression. Below I’ve listed a few practical ways we can improve our casual wear.

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  1. Dress like a Grown-Up, Not a Boy

I struggled with this one and I’m sure many men do. I was a terrible dresser. I had accumulated many hoodies and superhero t-shirts over the years and it was tough letting go of some because as most people will know I am a huge nerd and loved my nerdy t-shirts but I decided to give some away and the ones I had left I decided to keep for when it was the right time and place for them. I’m not saying you should throw all those t-shirts away I just saying sometimes we need to give it a pass if we would like to improve our personal style. Many men approach their casual style with the wrong mind set; they aim to look youthful. But if you want to look well-dressed, you should always aim to look mature, because maturity is an attractive quality in men. Maturity, after all, is what separates the men from the boys. It’s a quality you want people to see in you.

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  1. Invest in Improving the Basics

There are certain items that will never go out of style these are staple clothing items that need to be in every man’s wardrobe. A bomber jacket, a leather jacket, quality plain tees, white sneakers and a good variety of jeans these are but a few items that are important in your wardrobe. These items are the base you need in order to build up your casual wear and improve your style. These items are also so versatile that they can be used interchangeably to create different outfits.

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  1. Find your Personal Style

Everyone has a personal sense of style they have developed over the years. They have a set idea of what they like and what they would never be caught dead in. When improving your casual style you will need to open your mind up to what is out there, do some research and have a look at new things you like. This takes work and some thinking. The question you need to ask yourself is how do you see yourself now and where can the improvements be made. A free tip! Try to find bloggers or models whose style you admire and follow them on Instagram, whenever they post a pic of an outfit you like save it a use it to help you build a wardrobe you’ll love. What I do is save it and then go shopping and find items that match that particular outfit and continue this tread until I’ve build up a wardrobe of respectable outfits.

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About this look:

My personal rule is to not mix too many bright colours together. Start with a neutral base and adding in extra details can help you build an outfit that’s both stylish and laid back.

Maintain a neutral palette with dark coloured jeans in a navy or black, and keep them slim fit. Skinnies always work for me as long as they’re not super tight. If you’re going for something in a looser fit, try and get a pair that’s tapered so you don’t end up with anything too baggy.

So you’ve completed your smart casual outfit, but you just need something to throw on over the top for those chilly days. As you can’t mix and match like you would with an outfit, your outerwear needs to be bang in the middle of smart casual. Your best bet is to choose something that’s in a neutral colour and a good fit, but in a more relaxed design like a Harrington or bomber jacket.

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Outfit Details

Jacket: Zara

T-shirt: Woolworths

Jeans: Woolworths

Shoes: Zara

Thank you for reading my blog! If you would like to stay up to date with my latest blogs or what I am doing check out my social media pages:

Facebook Page: Joshycapetown

Instagram: Joshycapetown

All photos by Goose Photography: Book here

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The Non-conformist

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hey guys!

Hope you are all good! It’s been a while since I’ve had the opportunity to sit down and blog and I’ve missed it incredibly! Since I’ve started blogging the bug has bitten me BIG TIME and I enjoy hearing the feedback from people and that they have enjoyed reading it as much as I’ve enjoyed writing each post. I want to talk about a subject that’s very close to my heart and it’s something that is always on my mind. I want to talk about conforming and not conforming in this day and age, I’ve always found myself to be something of a non-conformist when it comes to anything in life and I’ve found that it is so easy to fall in with what everyone is doing instead of stepping out of the crowd and being unashamed to be yourself.

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I feel that society has taught us that it’s better to follow what is “trending” than to work on being the best version of yourself you can be. A lot of us are different and we’re afraid to be different, we think that people in our world are better off knowing the “society friendly” you but that’s not true. There’s nothing that forces you to conform what everyone else thinks is cool. Below I wrote down a few points where I feel we try to conform on a daily basis

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  1. You a different person depending on who you’re with.

Sometimes our behaviour and personality is influenced by the people we hang out with. A classic example would be the fact that it is natural to act a certain way in the presence of friends, while at the same time avoiding that same behaviour when you are around family or co-workers. We do this because there might be certain expressions and things you do which you only feel comfortable doing around certain people. Those who do not conform know that performing a different routine for every single group of people they come across can quickly become exhausting.

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  1. You pretend to like things to impress people.

Faking your way into a relationship is textbook conformity. Having a mutual interest with another person can create common ground, opening the door for a friendship to blossom, but this process can only happen if it occurs in an atmosphere of mutual honesty and openness. As a Nonconformist, I am always amazed at people who proclaim, “Oh yeah, I love that song!” when it’s clear that they are only saying that in a misguided effort to impress others. For example, I have noticed that everyone loves the new song “Despacito”. Now hear me out I’m not hating on the song, it’s a cool song, not really my taste but I’ve found it funny that normally people wouldn’t be drawn to the song had it not been remixed with Justin Bieber. The majority of people nowadays are not into Latin American music and believe me there is so much incredible Latin American music out there that most of the world has not been exposed to because it’s not trending.

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  1. You don’t buy clothes based on your personal preference.

If your wardrobe decisions are entirely based on seasonal styles, then you might be a conformist. I personally would never buy a clothing item for the sake of a new trend if I do not feel comfortable when I wear it.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good and feel handsome or sexy in your attire, but you should never abandon your unique tastes for whatever happens to be “in style” this year.

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  1. You’re afraid of what society thinks.

I used to struggle with this one daily! If you make important decisions based on what “society” thinks, then you might be conforming to what other people want you to be. It is human nature to want other people to like and accept us, but making life-changing decisions based on popular opinion (instead of your personal belief) will not make you happy or fulfilled. I’m reminded of a quote from Mark Twain, “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

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About my look:

Winter is here and Cape Town has definitely been feeling the chill but we have had some beautiful days in between. On those particular days I’ve enjoyed throwing on a long sleeve T-shirt instead of my usual short sleeve. My inspiration for this look came from the movie Don Jon. Ever since I watched that movie I loved the slim fit long sleeve look. Joseph Gordon-Lewitt completely owned the look in that movie. I paired it with a olive biker jean. We all know the biker jeans have been all the range this season and I loved this olive colour because I haven’t seen it in any other store and I love the uniqueness of it. My Hi-top shoes were also purchased at H&M and I love them because they are so versatile. I literally live in them now, they are one of my favourite shoes.

Long-sleeved T-Shirt Slim Fit: H&M Shop here

Olive Biker Jeans Slim Fit: H&M Shop here 

Hi-Top Trainers: H&M Shop here

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Rockin’ the Band tees look

Hey Guys

I hope you’re well! I’ve been quite busy this week. I meant to put this post out on Wednesday but it didn’t happen. When I wasn’t at work I’ve been roaming the malls so I haven’t really had a chance to sit down and write much. I wanted to talk about a trend I noticed in different stores and it’s a trend that I love! I saw it in a lot of stores when I went to London and now I’m seeing it here and guess what?

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BAND TEES are back baby!!!

Anyone that knows me longer than 5mins will know that I love music! I’m obsessed with it! Especially music from the 80’s and 90’s! It just takes me back to a simpler time when things weren’t as hectic as they are today and there was MUCH better artists. Don’t get me wrong I love the odd Charlie Puth song and Sia is pretty good but when I hear “Anaconda” – Nicki Minaj I think about how far the music industry has fallen in terms of quality. If you ask me, music from the 90s beats music from the 10s (I hope that’s what this decade is called)

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One thing I love about fashion is when an item makes a comeback or when something is “in” again. We all love a comeback and a bit of nostalgia and I think these band tees are definitely back in style. You can find them at almost any store now and there are so many I might actually do a Band tee Part 2 blog post. I saw so many different band tees from artists such as Metallica, Led Zeppelin, Nirvana, Guns and Roses, AC/DC, The Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, Van Halen. If you like me and feel the same way about music in this decade then maybe you should go back a bit, check out these bands and maybe enjoy listening to a new genre of music.

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About this look:

For this post I decided to go for a simple White vs Black look.

White Look: I found this amazing Nirvana t-shirt at Cotton On and it fits amazing. I loved the detail on the back as well as the simple print. It makes a statement and the band tee tells the world what you’re about without you having to say anything. This tee is super soft to the touch and has a regular fit. The white skinny jeans can be found at Woolworths as well as the white shoes I’m wearing in both outfits

Black Look: I found this amazing Rolling Stones tee at Zara. The quality is fantastic as usual. I love the massive Rolling Stones logo on the front and name on the back. My faded black skinny jeans can be found at Woolworths as well!

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36 Random Questions for Joshycapetown

Hey Guys!

I hope you are well and having a good weekend! I’ve been MIA this week because it’s been so hectic lately! I was supposed to put out a post on Wednesday and I’ve also tried to get out and shoot this week but it just hasn’t happened. I just wanted to do something fun and since my blog is new and some people are still getting to know me. I’ve decided to answer a few random questions.

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Do you prefer going out or staying in?

I can’t choose. I love to do both at times

How do you deal with failure?

I’m a overthinker and I always try and do my best in everything so I tend to grieve over a failure but I will get over it eventually and try and learn from that mistake but I’ll probably remember it for the rest of my life

When things break, do you prefer to fix them or replace them?

Replace them! Who doesn’t like something new and it’s an excuse to buy something 😊

Would you consider yourself materialistic?

I always keep myself in check regarding this because I love fashion and clothing but in life clothing isn’t everything. You’ve always gotta walk the line and not put TOO much emphasis on “things”. So to answer the question… No

What would you consider a perfect day?

A roadtrip to a nice hiking spot with a lagoon and a waterfall then have dinner with my wife and a large Mojito

What are some things that offend you?

Rudeness and hubris

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What is one thing that you cannot start your day without?

God

If you’re stressed out, what helps you wind down?

I’m not gonna lie, Sometimes I just drink Oros at home and listen to 80’s and 90’s music

When you die, do you want to be buried or cremated? Why?

It doesn’t matter to me because I’ll be long gone

What inspires you?

God, my wife, my family and the fact that I am still alive and breathing inspires me to do so many things in life. I’m not the finished article

Would you consider yourself an optimist, pessimist, or realist?

Definitely a realist 100%

What are three things you are willing to splurge on for yourself?

Clothes, Technology and Furniture

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Do you ever rehearse a phone call beforehand?

Everytime!

Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

Always wanted to start a business. Fear and not knowing what to do

What do you most fear about getting older?

Living in a world without my wife

When was the last time you shed a tear?

The last time I shed a tear was when Francesco Totti (Footballer) retired which was last week

What are some things in life that you had to learn the hard way?

Wow! One thing that comes to mind is my relationships with people knowing when to walk away from certain situations. Basically, its learning how to find that balance between giving your time and energy to people and also concentrating on growing yourself.

What were your childhood aspirations, and how have they changed?

I wanted to be a superhero. I even dressed up and made my own mask and cape. I still have those dreams today but they have changed to be more practical and real. I still want to help people in some way by coming up with something to improve people’s lives

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How have you changed the most since you were younger?

When I was younger I was more happy go lucky, now I’m more thoughtful and calculating. I used to just say whatever I thought, now I think before I speak. I believe in quality over quantity

In what areas do you want to change the most?

I always want to gain more knowledge, if you have the knowledge you can do anything in life!

When was the first time you were in love?

When my wife and I started dating

What invention do you think has done the most for the human race?

The wheel

Do you think a person’s outward appearance says anything about who they are as a person?

A person’s outward appearance says very little about who they are

Do you believe emotional ‘cheating’ is just as bad as real cheating?

Yes, it shows something is seriously wrong in the current relationship you in

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Would you rather leave a big impact on the world or a big impact in your family?

I would like to leave a big impact on the world. I say that because we all have the opportunity to leave a big impact on our families every day and it’s up to us to make the choice to do that

What’s your favourite song at the moment?

Heart-Shaped Box – Nirvana

Do you believe there is good in everyone?

We all have the capacity for good and evil. It’s all about the choices we make

Do you think your significant other can be both your best friend and your lover?

Of course! Those are the best relationships

Is life anything like you had pictured it would be growing up?

No ways! In life you never know what’s going to come next

Would you rather have a life full of love or a life full of money?

A life full of love! You can always make money and become a millionaire if you put your mind to it but true love is harder to come by and it’s much more rewarding

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What would you want said about you after you die?

He was honest, loyal, down to earth and passionate about the things he loved in life

If you could go back in time to give advice to your younger self, what would you say?

I would say grow, read, learn as much as possible

If something is toxic and doesn’t make you happy, walk away from it immediately!

Start your grind as early as possible!

What’s the biggest struggle that you’ve ever faced?

Letting go of friendships I loved dearly

If your life were a movie, which actor would you want to play you?

Joseph Gordon-Levitt! Love that guy!

Who was your celebrity crush?

I used to like Eva Mendes a little bit, but I’ve matured since then and I figured what’s the point

If you could have any superpower what would it be?

Super-speed! Then I’d be The Flash! Fastest Man Alive!

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About my outfit:

My entire outfit I got at H&M. I love being in denim and these biker jeans are simply the best! Probably the best thing since ripped jeans became a thing. The jacket fits snug and feels great. Bands tees are in at the moment and I was thinking of doing a post on it soon. This Ramones is to die for! I love it so much especially since I am a fan of the band. I love these Hi-Top trainers. I’ve basically been living in them ever since I bought them

Denim Jacket: H&M

Biker Jeans: H&M

Ramones T-shirt: H&M

Hi-top Shoes: H&M

Till next time guys!

Much Love

J

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